Question by Emma: Could i have borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder? or just nothing?
well i was depressed for like 6 months. i’m not super happy now, but i can go for more than 3 minutes without fantazing about suicide so i’ll take that as improvement. actually right now i’m kind of apathetic. i can sort of hide my emotions during the day when i’m around people, but like at night i can’t really. i can just cry for an hour and feel hopeless. i did the wait thing. but i don’t really get the point. because my happiest i’m still sad. and i realized that life is pointless, and it only has meaning if u make it, and i can’t make it. i found one thing to hold onto, music. and for the BPD thing i have anger outbursts that are reallly extreme. and i have the hate love thing. but i also have people i just don’t care about period. so i don’t hate them. i also had the self hurt problem. but it’s not a big deal because it’s not enough to die. and i never touch my right wrist so even if it did go too deep i wouldn’t die. yea i have a note but it’s really $hitty. but yea i don’t want to do anything now, but it’s not like i want to be alive. so why should i try not to when i want to die? and for the BP thing, i don’t think i have it. but sometimes i just feel like on top of the world and everything is amazingly funny, but it never lasts for long. and then i just feel a lot worse afterwords. so do i maybe have one? are they even real? or just things doctors say cuz they want to make more money by giving u useless therapy and drugs. so yea or is it just normal cuz im a teenager and thats what ppl say and like its a lil common for teenagers to kill themselves. but i always act so happy around ppl its weird. im also really paranoid. i dont know if that has to do with anything. sorry for so much writing
i didnt mean i had mania cuz i acted happy. i just meant i seem to be this really happy person cuz i act like it
Best answer:
Answer by Matt Ryan
Peopel tell me that what is wrong is that I think something is wrong. But when Im not thinking something is wrong, I notice that something is not right, not wrong, but its not good behavior or a good way to be thinking. My thoughts are uncontrollable and I can do nothing to stop it. I try to take on other activities, but no, the random craziness is still going on up there. I can sit and stare at the wall and be entertained. The wall isn’t entertaining but the million thoughts are, its like watching 100 channels on TV at the same time.
Sorry, I don’t know how to help you. Im just reading other people’s questions trying to understand myself. I asked Doctors and friends, if I even have any, and they all tell me nothing is wrong, go get a job, what is the matter with you, stop thinking about it and do something. When I do something its just random and doesn’t get me anywhere. Ahh… ok good luck.
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