Question by Lynn Suri: Do you think this is any good?
ok im entering this story in a contest and wanted to know if this story is any good. criticism is welcome!
Chapter 1: Sweet Blood
Darkness. One word yet it could describe so much. Walking in it made him feel powerful. He was on top of the world, an unimaginable high. He leaped gracefully from shadow to shadow, the only light reflecting from two small glittering blades. They were his weapons of choice. Small, deadly and hard to detect. What made it deadly was not the wicked sharpness of them, but the poison they were thinly coated with. Tonight was eeriely quiet. Just like every other night before the blood tainted the air and spread like a thick oil across the cold pavement. Tonight, he was following a rather small, mousy woman. She shivered and constantly looked over her shoulder. Hah! If she was this scared of the dark she should have some company, he thought. He hid the knives and quickened his pace. She jumped when he appeared out of the shadows beside her.
“S..stay back! I…I have pepper spray!” she trembled under the street light. She fumbled with her purse but her violent trembling caused it to drop and the contents to skatter across the ground. Her eyes darted across the spilled objects until she found what she was looking for. She lifted it up and pointed it at him with shaking hands. He smiled and held out his hand. Her body froze as his eyes cast a deadly spell over her mind. Spellbound, she handed over the small canister. He tossed it in a nearby trash can. Every woman was like this, he sighed. If only they would struggle a little, he thought. Her fear seeped through the night air and made smile even wider with anticipation. He could smell the adrenaline pumping through her veins. This would be a deliciously sweet meal, he thought with a smile. The time was approaching. The blades slid into their rightful places and he stepped closer to her. Her eyes were frantic, praying, no, begging him not to kill her She leaned her head back obediently. She could not stop him. The first bead of blood slipped out from under her skin as he sank his fangs into her neck. He could feel her body become weaker as the blood drained. Without a moments hesitation, he dropped the body to the ground and watched as the rest of her blood slowly spread over the pavement. Her blood had not been as sweet as he had anticipated. He leaned over and carefully closed her eyelids so she could not see the moon scolding him like a child. He smirked and wiped the ruby red liquid from his mouth, clearing any evidence of the feeding from himself. Whistling softly to the night, he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked down the street. Living like this was lonely, but he was content. There wasn’t many of his kind left and humans were to frightned by him to form any kind of meaningful relationship. He didn’t mind, though. A stray prostitute for a snack and a dark basement was enough for him. Atrash can clattered to the ground nearby made his reflexs react. He jumped into the shadows were he could not be seen. After a few seconds went by, he peered catiously out from the shadows into the alley. It was bare except for a couple of rabid rats climbing up trashy dumpsters. He smirked at his foolishness. He gazed aroound one more time before he kept walking, the moon lighting his path.
Chapter 2: Forgotten Child
Pandora was waiting in the alleyway. She was a forgotton child. She fended for herself and only herself. Running aaway from home had been easy. Looking for the stunning young man she had seen last night was hard. She had seen a beautiful man stalk a small woman and bite her neck. The tossed her aside like a rag doll. She had almost been caught when she bumped into a garbage can and the lid had clattered to the ground. Pandora had seen it all. The young man had been very tall. His hair was long and a very deep black. His eyes had been the most magical of all. Green, like new baby leaves without a flaw. Pandora was curious about the way he killed the woman the night before. The sun was setting creating a twilight world around her. Shadows lengthened from the red bricked buildings around her. She readjusted her position behind the dumpster and waited patiently for the angel. Her eyelids fluttered and she let out a loud yawn. She felt very sleepy. Pandora couldn’t help it. She tilted her head back and drifted off to sleep.
***
Tonight was a bit breezy. His hair fluttered around his face, tickling his skin like butterflies. He sniffed the air delicately, just like always. But something was different. He got a distinct feeling that someone was waiting for him. Either he was to far away from that person or the repulsive smell of the dumpster and rats disguised their scent. He listened intently and he could hear it, a human heart beat.
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