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please read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why?

Question by Emma: please read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why?
sorry for the wrong catorgory, but this one gets more answers.
Could i have borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder? or just nothing?
well i was depressed for like 6 months. i’m not super happy now, but i can go for more than 3 minutes without fantazing about suicide so i’ll take that as improvement. actually right now i’m kind of apathetic. i can sort of hide my emotions during the day when i’m around people, but like at night i can’t really. i can just cry for an hour and feel hopeless. i did the wait thing. but i don’t really get the point. because my happiest i’m still sad. and i realized that life is pointless, and it only has meaning if u make it, and i can’t make it. i found one thing to hold onto, music. and for the BPD thing i have anger outbursts that are reallly extreme. and i have the hate love thing. but i also have people i just don’t care about period. so i don’t hate them. i also had the self hurt problem. but it’s not a big deal because it’s not enough to die. and i never touch my right wrist so even if it did go too deep i wouldn’t die. yea i have a note but it’s really $hitty. but yea i don’t want to do anything now, but it’s not like i want to be alive. so why should i try not to when i want to die? and for the BP thing, i don’t think i have it. but sometimes i just feel like on top of the world and everything is amazingly funny, but it never lasts for long. and then i just feel a lot worse afterwords. so do i maybe have one? are they even real? or just things doctors say cuz they want to make more money by giving u useless therapy and drugs. so yea or is it just normal cuz im a teenager and thats what ppl say and like its a lil common for teenagers to kill themselves. but i always act so happy around ppl its weird. im also really paranoid. i dont know if that has to do with anything. sorry for so much writing
no i dont believe in god. hes not real, and neither is heaven or hell. so those of u who waste ur life’s praying or at church will find out when u die. actually u won’t find out because after death there is nothing

Best answer:

Answer by Akon Lova
You need a companion of some sort.
I would suggest a dog or another human whom you can relate to or share your feelings with.

Music is always good, I love listening to it when I am exercising, so you should keep doing that. Maybe try a new genre like R&B because depressing music could have possibly made your condition worsen.

I don’t understand why you would want to kill yourself though, you haven’t even met the love of your life yet. And even if you did kill yourself where would you go after that? Do you think you would go to heaven or would it just end? Either way why not experience life on this earth for as long as you can because there are so many pleasures that you have yet to enjoy

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